Cyclothymia it is part of the Bipolar spectrum. People often come into the forum and say, "I don't know if I am Cyclothymic or Bipolar." Cyclothymia is a version of Bipolar Disorder.

It's called Bipolar III in the classification books. It is treated sometimes with talk therapy, but it is more commonly treated with serious psychotropic, mood stabilizing drugs like Lithium and Topamax. To respond to those who say that Cyclothymia is not really an illness, I say that it seems a sure indication that Cyclothymia is an illness if it requires these kinds of medications to treat it.

It might be that its symptoms are not as full blown as in BPI and BPII as to require hospitalization, for example, but it certainly disrupts our lives and causes us enough pain that we feel compelled to seek professional help and support on the Internet.

My psychiatrist says Cyclothymia is part of the BP spectrum and that a specific label for it is meaningless as everyone experiences it differently, many people go on to develop BPI or BPII later on in life, and the treatment is nearly identical to that for BPI or BPII. What is
important is to establish whether you are on the spectrum at all, not
where you are on it.

More important than if other people take you seriously is whether you take yourself seriously.

Bipolar Disorder is a spectrum disorder and it is difficult to tell where one form starts and another one ends.

Everyone is welcome to join in and participate. If you know you are BP1 or BP2, you are welcome to come in, please keep in mind that it is a Cyclothymia forum. You may join in the conversations, but I ask that you not post about medication regimes. If enough people with BP1 and BP2 are interested, I can open a section for you to discuss medications. I really want to have a "clean" record of what works and does not work for Cyclothymics.

I reserve the right to warn people with BP1 or BP2 if I think the discussion is getting pulled away from Cyclothymia and into your problems regarding your doctors and your medications that involve your denial of reality and delusions that you know better than your doctor. This is the greatest area where BP1/2 people differ from Cyclothymics.

The line between Cyclothymia and BP1 and BP2 remains blurred and we will just have to be comfortable with that.

On the forum in the last few months people have been taking two online tests for bipolar disorder:

The Goldberg Bipolar Screening Quiz at Psych Central

Bipolar Disorder Self-Test.

This has been interesting. I have taken each at least three times, at different stages of my treatment, at "semi,stable", "pretty much stable" and today, at "stable", and each time I thought the tests were accurate (although it must be noted that the Black Dog test only screens for manic symptoms, so it is not a true "Bipolar" test). I scored somithgn like, 45, 18, and now 1 on the Psych Central Test.

Most of the other people on the forum who have taken the test scored in the 30s to 40s (moderate Bipolar to serious) and said either "I must be worse off than I thought" or flat out "This is wrong." A few people have agreed.

I suspect that most of us have been dealing with this for so long that we either minimize it or deny it is as bad as it is.

Are the tests accurate? I think so. Should you show them to your doctor? You should bring it up. You can say, "I was on an online forum for (depression, mood disorders, whatever) and we all decided to take some online tests and compare scores. Out of x points, I scored y on the Bipolar test. The Bipolar people in the group scored about the same as I did. I know it's just an online thing, but I wanted to bring it up."

I did this with ADHD. I knew my pdoc had no training in it. There us only one specialist in this country and it is not him. He thought it was worth considering since most of the other people scored under 50 and I scored 83.

I just came across this website: Neurodiversity.com. It sadly has nothing about Bipolar as far as I can tell. It has tons on autism and other conditions and a wealth of links to how to deal with being different, how to cope, etc. I suspect that much of it overlaps with Bipolar. I'll be working my way through these links and will report on what I find.

I was playing with the chart options in Word 2008 and made this. I think it is an accurate description of how I experience Bipolar Disorder, with hypomania on top, depression on the bottom and the mixed state in the middle. Stable is there at the base, holding things together. Not terribly earth shattering, but it shows that the mixed state is at the center of the experience. People seem to be able to muddle through with depression for years, and they enjoy being hypomanic. It's when things start getting mixsy that they go in for help. Because it really is insufferable. It is what makes us mess up marriages, lose friends, lose jobs, turn to alcohol and other drugs, take unwise risks, think about killing ourselves. So why do so many people who visit the forum seem surprised to learn that there is a third mood? So I'm putting it right dab center for us all to stand back and admire.

In reply to a forum post on a site about something entirely different, I wrote this:

I agree that the statement "depression is misunderstood" is true.

Most people think depression can be defined as "you are down about something for a while, then you pick yourself back up." This kind of depression does not require professional help, or it might respond well to behavioral therapy.

The depression that requires chemical assistance and does not respond to talk therapy is something else.

It is a neurological condition involving things called reuptake inhibitors, basically resulting in an inability to absorb seratonin or dopamine. Trouble with these hormones can lead to feeling depressed, but in the French form of the word, "lacking pressure", or impulsion in life. It results in reduced feeling, reduced interest in life, an inability to create or engage in planning, or even just give a shit. It might lead to suicidal ideation, or even suicide. 25% of people diagnosed ith Bipolar Disorder attempt suicide at least once.

It's okay to say, "My boyfriend left me, I'm depressed, boo hoo hoo," but try saying, "I am still grieving the death of my father five years ago." Unfortunately this second kind shares a name with the first. What if the lack of feeling, the suicidal ideation were called, for example, Woolf Syndrome (after Virginia Woolf, who is a well known depression victim)? "I am receiving treatment for a neurological condition called Woolf's Syndrome" would find a more sympathetic audience than "I am receiving treatment for depression."

I've been very busy at work, editing, editing and doing more editing. This is the first year my brain hasn't gone completely fried as a result. I credit the Wellbutrin.

I am, however, noticing that I am entering into a mixed state. It's not that I have been hypomanic, just really focused for six weeks and now that I am reaching the end of the pile, I am starting to come down.

Here's how I feel:
I feel like I have a slight buzzing in my body.
I'm concerned about the neighborhood (peaceful neighborhood, no reason for fear)
Worried about work, political stuff...when there really are none
Am of the opinion that what I do is bullsh*t.
General anxiety.

It's mild, but they are all there. Time to break out the Xanax. I estimate another three days of heavy work and then I can do some relaxing....unless one of my other bosses decides to dump on me :P